"Yo, yo, yo, this is me, Dj G. Your favourite omnidirectional DJ! Coming you live to give you the truth and some sweet jams. Now, before I continue, I bet your wonderin': Daddy G, I thought they shut down your super-illegal broadcasts? Pfft, I say, pfft! You can not shut down the truth. Now, first of all let's discuss what's been going on during this week."
"That robo-chick, we've all heard that she's some sorta' agent for our oppressors, now, I have nothing to disprove this almost rock-solid theory, but what most people seem to ignore that girls ticking. What is that ticking in that thing's head? Is she sending signals and if so to where? Is she insulting us in morse code? Personally, I think it's a bomb."
"Do you like going to the forest outside the school? Stop. That is all."
"My field man, Jimmy, has just made me aware that the students with telepathic powers and student with 'magical' powers are arguing… He appears to not understand why."
"I'd like to make a PSA before cutting to music: Everyone, please understand the ability to predict the future is highly volatile and almost useless in some cases."
"Before I sign off I have enough time to show ya'll one song."
The intercom comes on:
"Yo, yo, yo! It's me Dj G, your favourite out of phase radioman, comin' to give you the news and some tunes to brightin' up the morning!"
"First on the Agenda I'd like to apologize to our friendly resident robo girl for what was said last broadcast. I got some info coming in that suggest she has recently saved a group of kittens from a tree, and has saved us from an invading faction member!"
"Now some of you may have heard the myth of the man, the myth, the dude who hangs around us children a bit too much, Warren. Now there have been some theories about our deer friend, nothing solid just food for thought. What if he and this so called 'fairy mom' are the same? what if he is magic jesus? what if he is magical anti-jesus? What if he's actually just a crazy vagrant-hobo that has somehow duped security?"
"More and more of those heavy guards are appearing, especially after the /magical/ night yesterday. Be on the look out my brothers in crime!"
"Gonna leave ya'll with a calm little song. Bang Bang by the dispatch." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIs2kvH54FM
"Hey, hey, hey! Tis me Dj G, your favourite disembodied voice from another dimension. I would, I must apologize that the broadcast was delayed, I and Jimmy had voices in our head, but don't worry, loyal viewers, the voice has been silenced…."
"Today is news light so I'm gonna wrap things up! First of all. New holes have been appearing. These holes have been knocking students out left and right! So, I'm gonna go to my field man Jimmy on the scene…" "… *Gurgle*" "Well, that was my field my Jimmy!"
"More and more non-humans are being added to the student body. Do you hear that? That's the sound of people getting there pitchforks and torches…"
"Along with the new freaks being added to our circus is a new ringmaster of security."
"Before we get going. I would like you to remind you that this broadcast is being brought to you by my out of phase friendo Twitch. Smoke pan everyday."
"Are you going mad? Don't worry if the answer's yes, it's only natural, and honestly life's more fun if you're just a little mad, but remember, Don't listen to the voices in your head. They might tell you the truth you did not want to hear."
"Shhh, It's me. Your aerial dynamic pal from another dimension here to give all you attractive listeners the scoop."
"Not much so gonna be quick: Many students here in Sunnybrook have reported some of there hair has recently gone mssing. My guess? Some perv with a hair fetish."
"I just wanted to have a talk with all you for a second. Why are you all just so angry? Like, it's gotten silly. There are fights and everything. Soon ya'll are actually gonna try to make torches… not that you'd need them."
"Well, gonna play this short broadcast off."
*The sound of a child crying along with a man laughing can be heard for about 32 seconds*
"…What the fuck was that? Sorry everyone there has been a malfunction here at G studios."