<SirGoldFish> "No, I just need to eat a lot of meat because the person who made me was a retard."
<Endorb> "Care to elaborate? Or should one of us ask the other a different question?"
<SirGoldFish> "What do you mean? The guy made me so I had a high calorie requirement." ~Especially after all those damn modifications~
<Endorb> "That no sounded like there was another reason to eat besides maintaining your figure. Maybe it's just me, but I can tell you I won't judge or spread the information if you want me to keep it private. Or you could just keep it to yourself I guess"
<SirGoldFish> "I fucking told you. I just have a high requirement of calories that I need to meet."
<Endorb> "Okay, so it is just me." ~or she actually cares to hide it, although I can't imagine what not eating might actually DO to her~ "So, you got any hobbies besides working out, swearing and eating?"
<SirGoldFish> "I read and watch tv."
<Endorb> "What kinds of books and shows?"
<SirGoldFish> "I like what's good so got eclectic tastes."
<Endorb> "You mean eccentric? Well, I can understand that. You got any questions for me, or is this going to just be an interrogation?"
<SirGoldFish> "No, I mean eclectic."
<SirGoldFish> "I like a wide variety of stuff."
<SirGoldFish> "Uhmm." She looks around to see if no one is around. "Please tell me you're done with that suicide nonsense."
<Endorb> FonyX decides his glass of water is the correct person in the room to address with his answer "It's not nonsense. I can't just let myself keep causing problems for others. I really wish there was another way, but everything keeps stacking up to say it's my fault."
<SirGoldFish> "Than don't waste your time talking."
<SirGoldFish> "You're not acting like a suicidal person, like, at all."
<Endorb> "I have goals I need to complete before I can go, and if I were all downtrodden and nervous it'd seriously reduce my ability to get things done. You want to know how I really feel right now?"
<SirGoldFish> "Fucking, dumb-ass, if you kill yourself you're gonna hurt way more goddman people than you think. You're a selfish sack of shit. You're gonna bad luck get in your way of fucking life? You're gonna make whatever friends you have feel awful and just bring everyone's mood down. Stop being a bitch and suck it up. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, man. Shit may seem bad but it can always get better."
<Endorb> "I've nearly killed 2 people, jump started a vendetta against everyone, destroyed several relationships, and all by trying to do good. And that's just in the last month since I got here. I've caused a total of 5 stabbings of people I care for,"
<Endorb> (let me finish my post. I accidentally hit enter)
<Endorb> "Forced everyone I knew into a metaphorical chess game that only resulted in loss for everybody, I've been nothing but a dick to people, and to top it all of I couldn't even take down one megalomaniac that I went to the same damn class as!" FonyX downs the rest of the water, coughing a little as he says the next bit "Everything I've done has been for the
<Endorb> "Worse, no matter what I do. I'm causing my worst nightmare: I'm putting the world in a worse position than when I entered it. And what problems are there with my death, beside a couple sad people? Wendy is doing all she can to help me get ready as soon as possible, Lilith might calm down once I'm dead, and I'll stop
<Endorb> "generating more problems that everybody has to deal with but me"
<SirGoldFish> Sam stands on the couch, looking down upon Fony with fury and anger in her eyes. "Boo-fucking-hoo. Fix the problems work to make this world god damn place better, you self-fish prick. I don't know who Lilith other than what you've told me, but think about this: Your death may make her feel fucking worse! It may make her feel shity and guilty inside, what about the fresh-faced guard who has to burn or bury your body! What
<SirGoldFish> about your parents, what about your fucking future, and what about your friends? You want A to deal with your fucking death? Just fucking deal with it. You seem to be doing it fine right now, you seem to be dealing with your problems RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, And do you think you're the first person on the planet to feel and deal with guilt? Really? How about being forced to bring people in so a mad man can torture them? OVER and
<SirGoldFish> fucking OVER! I DEAL WITH MY ISSUES AND REGRET! Don't let life beat you down! You go and shit down life's throat and show it what you're really fucking made of! Go get a girl, make the world a better place, grow a tree, something!"
<SirGoldFish> Sam is breathing deeply at this point, still pissed and still standing on the couch.
<Endorb> "The thing is, you've gotten past your problems. Mine are only getting worse… It's not that I feel guilt or regret, it's that I can't simply continue to let it happen. If you knew you could stop a catastrophe, isn't your obligation to do so?" FonyX's grip on the glass weakens
<SirGoldFish> Sam jumps down to the. "Are you fucking listening to yourself? a-fucking-ventually your problems will be in the fucking past. Do you honestly think that they'll just continue to get worse? They wont. I don't care what your problems are, but trust me when I say that time heals all wounds. Shit is gonna get better, it's a law of the universe that shit will always get better and like I said: if you kill yourself things are gonna
<SirGoldFish> get a whole lot worse for a whole lot of people. A and this Lilith character included." Her voice is less angry this time around
<SirGoldFish> *Jumps down to the floor
<Endorb> "It's not that these particular problems are going to get worse, it's that they won't stop springing up, each time doing more damage to the people around me. And Lilith tried to push me off the edge. And so what if A and Val are saddened? Sometimes you can't come to a conclusion appeasing every side of the situation. I'd rather hurt them like that than risk
<Endorb> "Hurting them like I did Wendy. There's no good way out of the situation, so I'm doing what I've always done: taking the route that causes the least harm. If you don't like it, that's your problem, but it's the best option that's been presented to me" FonyX's grip on the glass tightens a little
<SirGoldFish> Sam's fury is re-kindled "Are you actually serious. They would not be just fucking A-okay that you're gonna kill self. You said that you're A's only fucking friend she'd be goddamn devastated, As for Val? Have you seen him? Do you really fucking feel that in your heart of hearts that he'd be okay. Okay with the death of a friend!? Do you really think that cause you're you that everything is destined to go bad? You know how
<SirGoldFish> ignorant that is? Fucking just try a little harder to not fuck shit up, you autist! This does not make any logical sense mister logic pants, and if you're not certain how to not fuck shit up… ASK FUCKING YOUR FRIENDS! Also, what you've always done HAS NOT BEEN FUCKING WORKING! You're taking the path of least resistance and it's just gonna hurt more people!"
<Endorb> "I know that A and Val would suffer! And the only reason I came to this conclusion is because it's the only way to properly account for everything in my life going the way it has. And I've tried avoiding what caused my problems, and it only made them worse! Half of the problems are due to circumstances beyond my knowledge or control, usually being something
<Endorb> "Even a psychic can't predict! I've tried! So, if you don't have any solutions, stop yelling at me" FonyX's grip on the glass tightens
<SirGoldFish> Sam tries slaps Fony in the face, angry at him. "Try again, because you did not do it correctly. The solution is fucking trying harder and going on. Go to your fucking closest friends for advice ask for criticism so you can be a better person! There is no need to predict shit if you have your fucking friends helping you. You've just came across a bunch of bad luck, man, but you gotta keep on moving forward and trying to make
<SirGoldFish> yourself a better person instead of just killing yourself and making everyone feel bad or sad for you!"
<Endorb> "relationship? I did that by *apologizing* for going insane because I was trying to tell them of the fucking evil cat-demon in the forest that was tormenting their friends! How do you get better from that!? Tell me where the hell I went wrong there!" FonyX's grip on the glass tightens
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<SirGoldFish> "I can't, but it sounds like You're Victim of circumstance. The right person at the wrong time. You should not let circumstance make you kill yourself!"
<Endorb> "But then why does it happen so often?" FonyX loosens the grip on his cup
<Endorb> "It's been my whole life, Sam. My whole life…"
<SirGoldFish> Sam's tone softens, not so angry at Fony "This is gonna sound bad, but sadly, there is no reason. Life can be a bitch sometimes, Fony, just look at my face." She gives a small chuckle, making sure he can see that glagsaw joker smile made of stitches and her sharp set of teeth.. "Sometimes we can't choose what we want or what happens to us, but you /must/ remain strong and not give in. I thought I was gonna be in that mansion
<SirGoldFish> with that evil man for the rest of my life, doing his bidding, but things got better. Things will always get better. You can't let your terrible circumstances beat you."
<Endorb> "Things get better? That's definitely false going by my life. And what you have isn't necessarily a bad thing. While it may be hard to work around it, there are plenty of ways it can work /for/ you if you know how to push it. But my hurting people definitely does not help in the long run…" The grip weakens
<SirGoldFish> "I was forced to work for a mad-man! It was not fun or enjoyable. I did not think things would get better, but they did and I did not have support from others like you do! Please, for everyone's sake don't kill yourself." Her tone is less angry and more somber.
<Endorb> "How is it doing more harm to others than good? Who would suffer besides A and Val?" the grip is unchanged
<SirGoldFish> "I honestly don't know but I have a hard time beliving that Lilith would be okay if you died just because she wanted you to jump does not mean she meant it, and I would be angry. Also, what kind of example would you be setting for the rest of the school if you killed yourself? What if you offing yourself causes someone else to do it? You'd be letting this entity in the woods win! Even if you get rid of it or kill, you'd be
<SirGoldFish> having it win and I really don't think you want that."
<SirGoldFish> "There is also the potential good you could do later on that you'd be destroying."
<Endorb> "… … I guess the risk of keeping myself alive goes both ways…" FonyX finally looks away from his glass and back at Sam
<SirGoldFish> "So… you're not gonna kill yourself right? Again, Val, A, and I are all willing to help you."
<Endorb> FonyX answers with silence, although something is going on with his eyes…
<Endorb> behind his eyes*
<SirGoldFish> "Please answer me…" She says softly, really hoping the answer is yes.
<Endorb> FonyX's mind is overclocking, but the one thing that he can make out is that that option didn't seem viable any more. At least 30 seconds after she asks for an answer again, parts of his brain start turning off, namely his defencive nature, impulse control and emotional levelling. The result of this new balance in his brain is he hugs Sam tightly, tears
<Endorb> flowing more freely than they have since the age of 5. "I- I don't know what-t to do. I'm Damn-ned either way. Help me? Pl-lease?"
<SirGoldFish> Sam does her best to hide her discomfort. She clenches her teeth. Her impulses are telling her to push him off, but he's in pain and she does not want to make it worse, especially when that might send him off to the roof. ~I'm gonna hurl…~ "No, you're not damned. People are there to help you. I will help you. Teachers will help you. Just don't be so resistant. Suicide is not an option, it's stupid. Because your destroying
<SirGoldFish> potential. I swear up and down that with a little help and a little effort. Things will get better."
<Endorb> "That's not a promise you can keep. I just feel trapped, and my emotions have been piling my my whole life. I'm glad I can finally confide in somebody. I've been so lonely my whole life" Somewhere in the middle of that speech, FonyX realized what he did and an odd mixture of panic and discomfort that was likely worse than what Sam felt sprung up, though he
<Endorb> found some unidentified force kept him from moving away. He didn't realize he was slowly tightening his grip, nor did he realize Sam's discomfort
<SirGoldFish> Sam discomfort keeps mounting, but she keeps going on because she has to fucking try. "Look, the effort of all your friends and some of the more reliable staff will help you, and maybe pills from a psychiatrist if you're really feeling down. You can do this, you can have a better life! I promise!"
<Endorb> "Don't make promises you can't fucking keep" FonyX says fairly quietly, his tone the least serious he'd ever been before. He attempts to ease them both onto the couch while maintaining the embrace
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<SirGoldFish> Sam needs a fucking blanket to bite on. "You're doing this to yourself, man. People want to help you, but you have to let them. If you don't want me to promise, I wont, but you need to let people help." ~Sam, what fucking situation have you gotten yourself into.~
<Endorb> Once they're both sitting on the couch, it takes about 15 seconds before FonyX's capacity is blown and he hastily removes himself from her "I'm just so used to being on my own. It's hard adjusting. And can we pretend that hug didn't happen? That was the most awkward thing in my life… I'm not used to the intimacy of a long handshake, let alone a hug, let
<Endorb> "alone that long of a hug" FonyX looks down, a slight blush forming on his face, assuming that is indeed possible, which it very well might not be
<SirGoldFish> Sam simply nods, trying to hide the look of surprise on horror on her face. "Just… please, promise me you wont kill yourself. It's dumb, like, really dumb."
<Endorb> "I'll… try to bear it at least a little longer. For Val, For A, and for you…" There's a slight lingering at the end of that statement that doesn't really register consciously, but instead seems more like subtext that comes from nowhere
<SirGoldFish> Sam really really is feeling uncomfortable and it shows. "Well, that's good to hear." Sam scoots a little away from Fony, still facing him. ~I doubt he meant that the way I think he did.~
<Endorb> "I see you're uncomfortable. Perhaps I should go? Give you some time to cool down so I don't overstep my boundaries?" There's a subtle drop in his voice that he doesn't notice
<SirGoldFish> "Do what you want. I'm just glad you're not gonna off yourself anymore." She gives small smile towards Fony.
<Endorb> "I don't think it's a good idea to do what I /want/." this statement seems to have an equal amount of subtext as the previous two, but in the opposite direction
<SirGoldFish> Sam digs her nails into the couch without making a noise. "What does that mean?" She says still smiling.
<Endorb> "It means that right now I'm in a frame of mind where my desires are not based off nuanced thoughts, and so I'm far more likely to do something I'll regret. It's actually pretty similar to being drunk, except instead of having to take more time to make sure I'm not being stupid, it's just harder to resist"
<SirGoldFish> ~FUCKING BASTARD! I just talked about killing yourself is a bad idea, fuck face.~ "Uhh, how about I bring you to your room and I'll remove all the sharp objects once there."
<Endorb> "What? W- No, that's not what I meat. even if I were still going to kill myself, I'd definately not do it before I finished with my important tasks, such as Jinx. What I meant was…" FonyX trails off, obviously unsure whether to tell you
<SirGoldFish> Sam smiles just a little. ~Good, don't kill yourself.~ She gives a nervous questioning look.
<Endorb> "I don't know, to be honest. But what I said about it was probably true. Maybe I'm just tired…"
<SirGoldFish> "Okay, whatever you say. Just know I'd rather you speak your mind."
<Endorb> "I would, but I'm honestly not sure what's on it."
<SirGoldFish> She nods. "Alright."
<Endorb> "So, how are we going to make it up to Wendy? Because that's my biggest concern right now"
<SirGoldFish> "I'll talk to her, but there is no gourtee there. You might just have to try and avoid her for now."
<Endorb> "Val's got my responses to most of her accusations on 'his phone'," he air quotes "So that might help" FonyX feels an odd… Pain? in his chest, and puts a hand over it
<SirGoldFish> "Uh, something wrong?"
<Endorb> "just a little pain in my chest. I think I'm going to go think things out in my room, unless you have anything else to say?"
<SirGoldFish> "That's alright."
<Endorb> "What's that supposed to mean?"
<SirGoldFish> "I'm just saying it's okay for you to leave since it does not seem like you're going kill yourself."
<Endorb> "Okay. Well, goodnight Sam." FonyX gets up and leaves