Kiefer Spirkowski

Son of a bitch;
If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away

Basic Info:

Player: TeslaTornado

Security Rating: C-I-

Advancement: Tier 0, Stage 0, 16 XP

Demeanor: Friend Kiefer here is a tightly-wound and energetic guy, constantly flitting from one place or task to the next. His moods are peaks and valleys, ecstatic highs followed up by crushing lows with no real middle ground to speak of. An unregulated risk-taker and adrenaline junkie, Keef doesn't slow down for anyone or anything, and expects the world to either keep up with his pace or drop away. Excitable, enthusiastic, and always hyped up for the next thing.

Nature: Bored. Almost terminally bored. He doesn't really hang out with people or let people get too close to him because he doesn't get them at a basic level - so many of them aren't like him, aren't bound up and ready to rock at any given time, so he eschews them for the most part. He has friends, and enjoys others' company, he just… Feels separate from them. Otherwise he's pretty much the same as he is on the outside.

Description: A punky little sprog standing at 5'6" tall, with a wiry frame and dark hair shaved close at the sides and left long on top, drawn back into a ponytail. He has darty grey eyes that are sunk beneath a large brow, and a pointed, just-a-bit-too-large nose. His hands are perpetually dirty and his face is freckled and slightly acne-scarred (but at 16, who doesn't have those?). He dresses in cheap clothes and hoodies, and will occasionally - begrudgingly - slip into a collared shirt and slacks, which appear to be secondhand.


HP: 7

Psyche: 6

Brawn: 2

Agility: 3

Brains: 3


Things your character is good at, things normal people can do

  • Gonna Be Bigger Than Banksy (4; Brains): Keef is, despite having very little in the way of formal training and education, an extremely talented painter and artist. Why the pint-sized guy decided to blow his talent off on graffiti is beyond everyone but him. Regardless, Keef is very good at turning the world around him into a viable canvas - give him a charcoal stick, a paint can, some sidewalk chalk, and a little time to work and he can crank out a damn fine piece of art. Specific Knowledge: Art
  • Officer, This Is Clearly Oregano (4 [3 + 1 from Weakness]; Brains): When you start doing illegal substances in great quantities, you begin to get very good at faking that you don't have illegal substances to the face of most authority figures. Juvie's a hard place, man, and Keef ain't about that life. So when it comes to lying, bartering, pleading, or generally just getting out of trouble with the law - or with the principal, or the local prefect, or the girlfriend, or any other authority figure - Keef is a gifted master. Social: Bluff
  • Now Is Running Time (3; Agility): And when your negotiations about that baggie of "oregano" fail, or you get spotted stenciling out the words "PRINCIPAL ALBERT IS A BIG DONG" on the front of the school building, it's time to go. Keef has dodged enough pursuits that he's become something of a virtuoso in regards to hiding and pathfinding; and when being followed or chased by someone he is exceedingly difficult to catch. Agility: Freerunning
  • I Am Like A Moose (3 [2 + 1 from Weakness]; Brawn): Keef has done just about half of the illegal narcotics on Earth in the last two years by virtue of a combination of boredom, curiosity, and complete disregard for authority. This does things to a guy. Not all of them are bad. When Keef ingests or inhales a toxic substance, he takes less damage and requires longer to succumb to its effects than an average human. Another thing it does is make one really resistant to getting the piss beaten out of them by an angry meth-head high off his tits in an alley, meaning that his pain tolerance is well above the norm! Resistance

Supernatural Abilities:

These are things you're character accomplishes via their power or monster

  • The Monkey On Your Back (4): Keifer's got a psychological ride-along, an incorporeal, sapient entity that he refers to as Chuck, despite that it speaks in a sultry English twenty-something female's voice. Keef's judgment is not the soundest. Anyway, Chuck is capable of some pretty neat tricks. Giving you the Used Car Salesman Rundown:
    • It possesses low-level telepathy, effectively allowing it to transfer messages from Keef's mind to another's, or alternately to just talk to people when it gets weirded out by spending too long in the head of a wildly hormonal, drug-addled teenager - a place best described as a warzone.
    • It can possess inanimate objects, such as coffee tins or toilets or espresso machines, and retain full sensory capability, reporting what it "sees" and "hears" back to Keef. This extends to any of the drawings that Keef creates, although it can only remain separate from Keef for up to four minutes (this increases with level).
    • It can combat psychic interference, attempting to expel the presence of unwanted psychic intruders in a "there's only room in this head for one other brain" sort of deal.
  • The Monkey's Off Your Back (3): For a limited amount of time, and a limited degree of success, Keef can send Chuck out to probe others' minds. It takes a great deal of time and effort on both of their parts, with Keef having to help Chuck and Chuck not being altogether incredibly powerful. Right now it's only good for figuring out what others are thinking about, and for a remote-controlled version of the same expulsion ability that Chuck uses on Keef - effectively creating a lower-powered psychic barrier to prevent others from getting possessed.


The side effect of your powers, not necessary.

  • FUCK YOU YOU'RE NOT MY GHOST-DAD (Mild): Imagine your mom nagging you every day. Get a job, be responsible, sober up. Imagine that every day. Annoying, right? Now imagine that your mom is an incorporeal entity living inside your head with access to all of your hopes, dreams, and - dear god almighty - romantic aspirations. It takes a great deal of effort sometimes to keep Chuck from digging into Keef's innermost thoughts, and as a result the amount of concentration required to keep his psychological tenant from cracking open those dirty thoughts about Tina Tiny-Tits leaves him a little short-tempered at times, and worse still can occasionally leave him completely and fully vulnerable to psychic attacks.


List everything your character carries on their person here. Be reasonable.

And everything that they keep in their dorm at Sunnybrook. Anything that's not listed here or in the section above will be difficult for the character to retrieve.

Personal History:

Teenage burnout Kiefer Spirkowski was born to lower-middle parents in a suburb in New York, about fifteen minutes' drive from the city. A hellraiser and malcontent from the first time his lungs drew breath, Keef always had an ear to the ground on the wrong scene. This led to a tumultuous relationship with his parents and older sister, the heavy use of narcotics, and eventually falling in with a group of other kids, at age twelve, who were primarily bored as hell and looking for something to do.

That something turned out to be summoning a "demon."

Keef, being ever bored, volunteered to partake in the summoning ritual, and promptly got knocked the fuck up by an incorporeal entity ripped from… Somewhere. It's not really clear where. Hell? The afterlife? Cleveland? Nobody knows, and it either isn't sure or isn't telling anyone. What is clear is that Keef walked away with a fairly persistent spectre riding around in his head, which he took to naming Chuck (and various other names, depending on what he feels appropriate at the time). This entity has taken to speaking into his ear like a sultry Jiminy Cricket, much to his annoyance - although it has helped keep him out of tremendous legal trouble. In the early years it was quite an adjustment period for his family, having him frustratedly snap at thin air and hold entire conversations with a flower pot, but his family - knowing full well his drug habit - thought he'd just finally snapped.

Imagine when, at fourteen, the fact came up that Keef was giving Chuck a lift, by way of Chuck deciding to communicate with his sister - who was watching a seven-foot-long penis flop its way up the main hallway of the high school, begrudgingly shouting the missive "PRINCIPAL MARSTERS EATS ASS" to anyone who stopped and looked at it.

And so it was that the Problem Child Extraordinaire was whisked away to Sunnybrook, hopefully to straighten the hell out and never cause trouble again.

I'm calling bullshit, but eh.

Due to suspicions of academic truancy and underperformance, numerous infractions against Sunnybrook's policy on possession of controlled substances, and his general contempt for authority figures within Sunnybrook itself and the greater Windyvale area, Kiefer was expelled from Sunnybrook on 2nd December 2018, undergoing heavy amnestic treatment and being returned to his hometown of Faniel, Maine.




Can speak bits and pieces of a couple languages. Chiefly Spanish and Chinese. Knows enough German to order a beer.


  • Anthiel: Blind as a fuckin' bat, I tell you, but he gets around better than I prob'ly do. Pretty smart and pretty funny but also really sad. Bums me out, but I guess that comes with bein' a lab rat for most of his life. I feel bad for the poor motherfucker, but what am I gonna do? Go back in time an' stop him from doin' whatever it is he did to get into the thing he did? I can't do that shit, man. All I can do is hang out with the guy, which I don't mind. Nickname: Specs
  • Nemexia: Man what a fuckin' weirdo, I swear to god, his dad must be on some hard drugs. But he's been good to me an' he's tryin' to help Anthiel feel more like a human bein', in his own weirdass way, so I guess that means he ain't bad, just… Ain't right in the head is all. Nickname: Motherfucker
  • Mads: I guess he's a she now. That's cool. Don't really give a fuck what her parts are cuz I ain't tryin' to touch 'em. She's good people. She's nervous as fuck, but I wouldn't want anybody else 'round me when the goin' got weird. I trust 'er. Nickname: Mads (duh)
  • Wendy Strauss: Well she fuckin' flashed me the whole time we first met. But after that she got 'round to bein' aight. Sad, but aight overall. Only thing I don't like is whatever beef she's got built up with Kat. Nickname: Win
  • Daniel Vitan: I'unno what I think of him yet. I've known him for like ten minutes. Nickname: Frozone
  • Katlyn LeBlanc: Oh man. Oh man oh man. Y'ever get that feelin', that vibe, off a person? Y'know the one - from th' very first time ya meet up with somebody ya feel everythin' a little bit more. Th' sun on your skin gets a bit warmer, th' wind tickles yer fuckin' cheeks, the weed gets a little bit better, the music gets sicker, an' everythin's just a little bit nicer. That's th' vibe I get off Kat. Sure she's this weirdass hipster chick with her nice clothes an' her soft-acoustic bullshit an' all of her whole-food orgranic crap an' that bugs th' ever-livin' shit outta me… But she's, like, real, like really real, underneath all the shit she puts up; she's smart, she's funny, she's prob'ly th' greatest thing that ever happened t' me. An' nothin's gonna change that. An' I'mma do whatever I can to make her better 'cuz she deserves so much more'n what she's got. Nickname: Silencio/Kat/Frustrated mumbling
  • Leah Nasser: I mean, she's got weed. Kat likes her. Mads likes her. She's got great fuckin' taste in TV. There ain't much I got t' say about her that's like, bad. 'Cept I don't cee her enough.

Data Hub

XP: 16

  • 11 Weekly XP
  • +3 XP (LT's Be Fucking Happy God Dammit Run, 21 Sept 2015)
  • +2 XP (Nemi's Bees Bees Bees Run, 23/25 Sept 2015)

Logs: None!

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